


Butt Dial

by theonewhohums



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Butt Dialing, Eavesdropping, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Miscommunication, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8745631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonewhohums/pseuds/theonewhohums
Summary: Soul is an actual grandpa when it comes to technology, and Maka is a rotten eavesdropper.





	

Soul always seemed pretty good with technology, up until he got his new phone.

He didn't want to get a new phone, in fact he loudly complained that his old phone was _fine_ , but Maka insisted that after dropping his phone in the toilet for the third time, he needed a new one. If not for the internal damage that had been done to it, for sanitary reasons. I mean, really. Three times in the toilet. How did that even happen?

So Maka had graciously taken it upon herself to get him a new one. It wasn't that expensive, and he had bought her a nice birthday gift the month before, so she didn't feel weird about buying him something a little pricey. She picked a nice one too, not like the cheap one he had before which was missing buttons and the charger only worked if you plugged it in a certain way and was probably covered in microscopic fecal matter. She thought she was doing him a favor, being generous, but she was wrong.

Soul hated it. Yes, he was grateful for the new phone, and of course used it as often as he could to prove how much he appreciated it. But she could tell by his constantly grumbling that he despised the damn thing.

"I only need it for calls and texts! And maybe to download some music, but that's it! What are all these apps for? How the hell do I use Blue Tooth? Does this thing have Siri? Or is the green robot kind? Where are my contacts?"

Her partner was a mess. It was funny at first, watching him struggle, but after a while it just got kind of sad. He clearly had no idea what he was doing, but continued to use the phone instead of buying the new one because it was a gift.

Eventually he figured it out. Sort of. He managed to download 11 songs on it without hurting himself, and by some sort of miracle managed to transfer all of his contacts from his old shit phone to his new one.

His new problem was having no idea how to lock his phone. He was so used to his old, out-dated one that he could just slide shut that he often forgot to press the power button on his new touch-screen phone.

And that meant butt dialing.

Soul had the bad habit of sliding his phone into his back pocket without locking his screen, which meant for a lot of phone calls to Maka.

"Why am in here as Albarn?" Maka had asked when Soul had asked her how to attach a picture to a text message one day.

"Then you're always at the top of my contacts. You're the person I call the most, so it seems easier that way."

It made sense at the time, but now it was an unfortunate inconvenience. Being at the top of his contacts meant getting a lot of calls from Soul. While she was at home, in class, while he was out with Black Star and Kid, any time of the day. And considering it was Soul, Maka always answered, despite knowing that the majority of the time it was just background voices and muffled butt sounds.

Sometimes she would hear snippets of conversations.

"—It's three twenty. It's __three twenty__ , Black Star, it's my fucking turn! What do you think i was just doing? I just checked the time, you assshole!"

"—Psychedelic Suds was one of the fucking best garage bands from the 70s. Don't lie to me, you fucking know I'm right."

"—Shit, fuck. I think I just pressed send? Maybe I didn't? What does the green phone in the corner mean? Does that mean it sent?"

Normally when Maka received calls such as these, she hung up. After all, Soul hadn't intended to call her, so there was no reason to stay on the line.

Unless he mentioned her name.

It really was a breach in privacy, Maka couldn't deny that. And as much as she wanted to hang up, part of her was curious what Soul said about her when she wasn't around. So against her better judgement, Maka sometimes stayed on the line to hear what he had to say.

Normally it was idle chit chat. Telling someone yeah, that was her on the news who sliced up that Kishin. No, she hadn't taken that class so she probably wouldn't be much help. She said she was making pasta for dinner. Or did she say pot roast? He couldn't remember.

Sometimes things were slightly juicier.

"—I think Maka knows I cheated off of her for Stein's test the other day. She's been giving me death glares all day and she still hasn't spoken to me."

"—If Maka would just put her damn bras in the hamper like I __asked__ _,_ I wouldn't have to feel like a _ _pervert__ picking them off her bedroom floor. But __nooooo__ -one listens to Soul, do they?"

"—How do you tell your meister she should wear her hair down more often? Maka curled it the other day and it looked really good. But cool guys don't talk about their meister's hair. Right? Shut the fuck up, Kilik. Your partners are toddlers."

Maka would stay on the line much longer than necessary to hear conversations like those. It filled her up with a weird sense of glee, knowing that Soul talked about her when she wasn't with him. She couldn't really identify the feeling, but it somehow made her seem more a part of his life, knowing that she was in his thoughts even when she wasn't with him.

She probably would have kept listening to his butt-conversations about her too. But things changed around the time of the DWMA Annual Halloween Ball. Normally they skipped every year, since Maka wasn't keen on dancing and Soul wasn't much of a party guy. Both of them regularly turned down dates to the dance and opted for staying home to watch horror movies in their living room, and Maka assumed that this year would be no different.

Maka was hanging up posters for the event in the halls of the DWMA with Tsubaki when she got a call from Soul.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

Maka groaned, fishing her phone out of her skirt pocket.

"This is probably another butt-dial. The fourth one today, in fact. I really should have bought him a flip phone. The boy is useless when it comes to touch screens."

She swiped her screen and pressed the phone to her ear, rolling her eyes at Tsubaki when she heard the _swish swish_ noise of Soul's pants against the receiver. "Butt-dial," she mouthed to Tsubaki with a small smile, but straightened when she heard Soul mention her name.

"—I'm thinking about going to the dance this year, actually. Maka would probably be against it because of our Halloween tradition, but I feel like it's finally time to go to one of these things, you know? Maybe it will be better than the last school ball I went to. No Kishin revivals, just dancing and drinking spiked punch and maybe making out with a girl in a broom closet."

Tsubaki looked over at Maka. "What is it?"

Maka pressed the phone to her shoulder and spoke to Tsubaki.

"Soul's planning on going to the ball this year, I guess? And something about spiked punch and broom closets?"

"You really shouldn't be listening to his conversations, Maka."

Maka waved her hand at her friend and returned the phone to her ear. "It's fine, he's not saying anything he won't tell me at home later."

"—What makes you think Anya would say yes, though? Wouldn't age be an issue. She's what, like three years younger than us?"

" _ _Anya__ _?_ " Maka couldn't help but blurt the girl's name in stunned disbelief. Soul was choosing to go to the dance with—with __her__?

"Maka, put the phone down, Soul's going to hear you!"

"Why the hell would he ask Anya, of all people, to the dance? What makes her so much better?"

"Maka. Phone. Down." Tsubaki grabbed Maka's cell phone from her grip and pressed the 'end' button.

Maka wanted to be mad, but she was too busy fuming at the thought of Soul. Her partner. Making out with Anya Hepbern. In a broom closet. At the Halloween Ball. The words did not compute in her brain.

"I have to go talk to him."

Tsubaki put a hand on her shoulder. "Maka, it's not your place! You weren't supposed to be listening!"

"You don't get it Tsubaki! I've turned dates every single year on Halloween in the hope that that stupid boy would ask me! Every. Freaking. Year! And I know that he doesn't like parties, so I never questioned it when he never asked me and I never asked him! And now he's finally going to go, and he chooses Anya freaking Hepbern!"

She stormed off, not knowing where she was going or what she was going to do. Soul didn't say where he was when she was eavesdropping, so she didn't have much to go off of. She was forced to just trudge home to her apartment to wait for him.

When he finally did arrive, Maka was waiting for him, looking very much like a mother who purposefully stayed up to catch her child come in past curfew.

He shut the door behind him with his foot and offered her an uncomfortable smile. "Hey?"

She continued to scowl at him, which probably made her look crazy, given that he had no idea what she was angry for.

"Ummm. Did I do something wrong? I swear I haven't cheated off of you in like, a month, so if this is about that test from before—"

"So you're asking Anya Hepbern to the dance?"

He straightened. "What?"

Maka stood from her spot on the couch.

"I heard through the grapevine that you're going to the Halloween Ball this year. It seems like a weird time to finally decide to go, after all these years of avoiding it, but whatever. Horror movie traditions need to be broken eventually, right?"

Noting the bitterness in her voice, Soul looked at her curiously.

"You're mad that I'm going to the dance this year? I thought you always wanted to go."

She crossed her arms. "Maybe. But I would appreciate next time if you would tell me next time you planned on ditching me."

His brow furrowed. "Ditching you? What are you—"

"Anya's pretty. I personally think she's a little young for you, but that's just my opinion. I'm sure she'll say yes. No one in their right mind would turn down a Death Scythe."

Soul put his hands in the air. "Alright, Maka stop! I have no idea what you're talking about! Who said I was going with Anya?"

"You did!" she yelled. "You said you were going to make out with her in a broom closet and drink spiked punch with her. You said you were going to ask her to the dance."

"Maka, I never—and where would you even have _heard—_ I literally just left Kilik two minutes ago. There's no way people could have played telephone that fast."

She pulled out her phone. "You called me, Soul. I heard you say it."

His eyes widened. "I what? Shit!" He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and looked through his outgoing calls. The screen was big enough that Maka could see it from where she stood. Five calls to Albarn.

"Damn this stupid phone," he grumbled, scrolling through his phone calls. His thumb stopped on the last phone call, and he looked up at her. "Wait a minute. All these other calls are like ten seconds long, but this one lasted for over three minutes. Were you listening to my conversation?"

Maka sputtered. "Y-you mentioned my name! I thought you were talking to me, so I stayed to listen!"

"Maka Albarn, you eavesdropper," he said, but he was...smirking? "And you're not even a good one, at that."

Maka frowned. "What are you talking about?"

" _Kilik_ is planning on asking Anya to the dance, idiot. I was telling him that she seemed a little young for him and he should ask someone from our year."

Maka felt a blush spread across her face at her mistake. "Kilik?"

"Yes, Kilik. Do you really think I would ask Anya out?"

"I-I don't know. You mentioned kissing girls in closets and then you said her name." Maka crossed her arms again.

Soul flushed at that, looking down. "Yeah, well, that's not who I meant. I was actually gonna—Wait. Were you _jealous_ of Anya?"

Her entire body felt hot under the weight of his stare. "W-what. No! I was just—I just thought she was a little young-"

"You were totally jealous! You didn't like thinking that I was asking someone out to the dance, did you?"

Maka had had enough of his scrutiny. She turned away, prepared to flee to her bedroom and lock herself in there for the next century to avoid the shit-eating grin on her weapon's face.

"Nevermind! Forget I said anything! Have fun at the stupid dance, what do I care!"

Soul's hand was on her shoulder before she even made it three steps though, and slowly he was turning her around.

"Maka, I wanted to ask _you_ to be my date."

Maka blinked. "Huh?"

He sighed. "Maka Albarn, I am asking you if you'll go to the DWMA Annual Halloween Ball with me. Will you please be my date?"

Maka's heart felt like it was going to beat right through her ribcage. "Even if it means leading me when we dance?" He nodded. "And socializing with lots of people?" Another nod. "...And making out in broom closets?"

The redness was returning to his face, but this time he didn't back down.

"We could start now?"

And before he could say another word, Maka was pulling him down by the collar for a kiss. It was rushed and quick and definitely not enough for either of them, who had been waiting for this moment for _years_. Maka pushed herself up against him, and Soul groaned into her mouth and back up into the wall behind him. With more leverage, Maka stood on her tiptoes, bringing their heads closer together and alleviating his slouch, running her fingers through his hair as she kissed him. Soul's tongue darted inside her mouth, and sensation had Maka's toes curling in her socks.

They could have gone on like that for ages, but eventually they had to breathe, pulling apart and looking at each other like they were new people.

"I take it that's a yes?" Soul asked through bated breath, though she hadn't seen him smile that wide in a long time.

Maka nodded happily, and stood on her tiptoes once more to give him a peck on the lips for good measure. The second time Soul's back hit the wall, Maka heard her phone ring from inside her pocket. She groaned and lowered herself, pulling it out of her skirt pocket to show her partner the number calling her.

Soul sighed and took his phone from his pocket, ending the call and tossing the phone onto the couch. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she couldn't deny how right it felt, after all this time waiting. She expected him to bend down to give her another kiss, but instead he looked warily at the couch before finally asking:

"Can I __please__ get a different phone now?"

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally published 2/26/15)


End file.
